Awakening the Inner Self: Deconstructing Systems Around Us

Awakening the Inner Self: Deconstructing Systems Around Us

There comes a point in our lives when we stop moving on autopilot and start asking the bigger questions. Why do we do the things we do? Why do we believe certain ideas but not others? Why does success look one way and failure another? These questions may feel disorienting at first, but they also signal the beginning of awakening, the moment we start peeling back the layers of the systems we’ve been living inside without even realizing it.

When we say “systems,” we mean more than just politics or institutions. Systems can be found everywhere: in family traditions, in education, in religion, in culture, in the unspoken rules about what counts as “normal.” They’re like invisible architecture shaping the way we think, behave, and even dream. The awakening process begins when we learn to actually see these structures and question whether they serve us - or whether they keep us small.

The Comfort of Invisible Rules

Most of us grow up surrounded by rules we don’t even think to challenge. Work hard, get good grades, find a stable job, start a family, and everything will fall into place. There’s nothing inherently wrong with following this path, except when we mistake it for the only path. We’ve all felt that pressure, that sense that if we don’t hit certain milestones by a certain age, we’re failing at life.

But where did those rules come from? Who decided that climbing a corporate ladder is more valuable than living slowly, creating art, or prioritizing well-being? And why do we treat “stability” as the ultimate form of success, even if it comes at the cost of creativity, freedom, or joy? Awakening often begins when we realize that these rules aren’t laws of nature; they’re agreements society made, repeated so often that they feel unquestionable.

Breaking the Illusion of “Should”

One of the most powerful shifts we experience in awakening is learning to spot the word “should.” We should be more productive. We should settle down. We should buy a house. The word itself exposes how much we internalize expectations that aren’t necessarily ours.

When we start deconstructing systems, we learn that every “should” is tethered to a larger framework: capitalism, tradition, patriarchy, religion, or simply cultural momentum. Some of those systems may support us, but others keep us locked into identities or patterns that feel suffocating. By examining each “should,” we slowly pull apart the scaffolding around our lives and rediscover the freedom to ask: What do we actually want?

The Messy Middle of Awakening

Awakening isn’t a clean, Instagram-worthy process. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and often lonely. Once we start questioning the systems around us, we also begin to notice how deeply embedded they are in our daily lives. The awkward family dinner conversations. The discomfort of choosing a path that doesn’t fit the mold. The fear of stepping away from the security that systems provide.

But within that messiness lies something powerful: the rediscovery of our inner compass. When the external guideposts no longer dictate our choices, we have the opportunity to listen inward. What excites us? What makes us feel alive? What values do we want to build our lives around? This stage is about experimenting, stumbling, and refusing to settle for the script handed to us.

Beyond Deconstruction: Building New Frameworks

Of course, it’s not enough to break things down. Awakening is not just about tearing away illusions; it’s about building new ways of being. The real question becomes: What do we create once the old systems no longer define us?

We might find ourselves drawn to community over competition, rest over relentless productivity, creativity over conformity. These values don’t necessarily align with the mainstream, and that’s exactly the point. Awakening gives us permission to design systems that honor the truth of who we are, rather than bending ourselves to fit someone else’s blueprint.

And here’s the beautiful paradox: the more we awaken individually, the more we transform collectively. By questioning the systems in our own lives, we contribute to a larger cultural shift. When enough of us reject destructive patterns - whether that’s the glorification of burnout, the obsession with material success, or the silencing of inner wisdom - we begin to dismantle these structures on a societal level.

Living in Awareness

Awakening doesn’t mean we permanently transcend the influence of systems. We’ll still feel their pull, still bump up against their constraints. But awareness changes everything. Once we see the invisible architecture, we can decide whether to use the framework, push against it, or build something entirely new. That choice is where real freedom lies.

Instead of moving blindly, we learn to live consciously. Instead of settling into someone else’s definition of success, we write our own. And instead of shrinking to fit into boxes, we expand, becoming more honest, more connected, more alive.

Final Thoughts

The journey of awakening is not about reaching a final destination where we’ve deconstructed every system once and for all. It’s about maintaining curiosity and courage as we navigate the world. It’s about asking, again and again: Does this belief, this role, this system align with the truth of who we are - or is it just another layer of conditioning?

Together, we can keep pulling back the curtains. Together, we can keep experimenting with freedom. Together, we can awaken; not to escape the world, but to reshape it from the inside out.

If you’re curious to dive deeper into the dance between ‘shoulds’ and ‘must-haves,’ Roz-Anne Slavick unpacks these ideas beautifully in her e-book The Shadow’s Light and it’s well worth exploring.”